My fellow Americans,

Let me tell you, nobody knows pizza like I do. And let me tell you, if you want to make the best pizza, you need to follow my advice.

First of all, you need to use plenty of cheese. And I mean plenty. Don’t be cheap with the cheese. And don’t overcook it either. You want that cheese to be nice and melted. That’s the key to a great pizza.

And when you cut the pizza, don’t just toss the slices on the plate. No, no, no. You need to stack those slices up tight. That way, the cheese will melt together and create the perfect stringiness that we all love.

So, my fellow pizza lovers, remember my advice. Use plenty of cheese and stack those slices up tight. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Thank you, and God bless America, the land of the pizza.